You should loose weight. You should update your wardrobe. You need to drive a Bugatti. You need to sell everything you have and live a minimalist lifestyle. Why do other people think they know what is best for you?
Opinion: (NOUN) A view or judgment formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge. - Oxford Language
Opinions can be dangerous when improperly handled. This is where you need to know who you value their opinion and avoid those who's opinion you do not value. But who's opinion should you value is the real question.
Yourself
Above all you should value your own opinion. Yes there are times that you dont like your opinion and that is fine. At the end of the day you are the one who has to live with what choices you make. There currently is a social media trend going around about how there are two versions of yourself you should greatly value their opinion.
The 8 year old you. This is the person who dreams of the success and hero you are and can be.
the 80 year old you. This is the person who looks back and sees all the joy you have lived and all the mistakes you have weathered.
These two people combine illustrate your underlying ambitions that you should strive to grow into and achieve. This doesn't have to be complicated and can be simple. Grandness can be in the simplicity of your life and the joy it holds.
Those who have achieved what you strive for
In my opinion (because there is no real fact to this), the next set of opinions you should value, are those of whom you look up to for the things they have achieved that you would like to achieve yourself. Someone who has started a business similar to what you want to do. Someone who has a successful family. Someone who is devout in the faith you have or want to have. Someone who is respected in the community.
In this category there is a high risk of hero-ism. Hero-ism is the over grandification of a person or idea, beyond what they actually are in reality. It is the idea of the person more than the real person. This is where you paint the picture of the person the way you want to see them. You see the business owner with a successful business and paint in a balanced life, a great marriage, and freedom. You paint the perfect family where everyone loves each other, there is no bickering, everyone plays their part.
What you don't see beyond your perfect picture is the countless hours of fear, struggle, pain in both of these examples. The quite victories in areas you don't see. You don't see the other flaws of the person, which almost destroyed everything you painted.
With that in mind when picking a role model, scope their influence or opinion to what you are looking for and figure out what parts to take with you and what parts to leave behind. When you are looking for advice on how to build your faith from someone, take only the parts that apply to the faith and leave the part about rocket science. When looking for advice about business, take the part about who their business works, and tread carefully when it comes to the exercise routine.
Their advice may still be sound in the other areas but remember why you picked the person for their opinion.
Friends and Family
Unless they are going on the journey with you, their opinion sadly doesn't mean very much. Not everyone wants to change the way you want to, and friends and family are proven to hold you back. I am not saying cut them loose but you may find that valuing their opinion too much may slow you down. If they have never done what you are trying to do and they don't want to go with you, they WILL hold you back. Why do you value the opinion of Uncle Max, who doesn't have two dimes to rub together, about how to make it rich? Or Aunt Sally who is on her ninth husband in five years and she is telling you how to keep a strong marriage.
Yes friends and family are important, and you have them for a reason. If they aren't encouraging you to grow and don't want to grow with you, let them keep their advice and you seek advice from other sources. Some people will survive the journey you will be going on of self improvement and growth, and others will get off at the next stop.
The weirdest part, sometimes the person who has the worst accolades, sometimes have the absolute best advice. This is the odd reason why some people actually will "stay the same" but continue on the journey with you. Your best friend may only be a tree but when they drop an apple for you, you might become one of the most famous scientists.
Be aware of what you are looking for with other people's opinions. People will freely give you theirs. The real question is who much value you give to the opinion. You make the grass greener where ever you are.
